What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
