The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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