dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
