Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
