I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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