yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize