I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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