I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
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after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
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