OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
