It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
