Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
