I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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