Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
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