my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
