he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
a search helicopter?!
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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