The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
