Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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