Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
send nudes
from the living room?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
