Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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