I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
