Taylor Swift is so right about you.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
