Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
