this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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