1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
