i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
