Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize