I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
