ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
