Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
