I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
