my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
