we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
