Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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