i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
