He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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