She said her name was "party"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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