Banned from zoo.
Again?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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