I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
