I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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