you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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