as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
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