and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
