this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
