I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
