dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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