susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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