Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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