Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
