so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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