Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
