After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
