the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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