Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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