she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
