I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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