i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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