Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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