This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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