I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
