I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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