How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Found your dick twin last night
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
