can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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